I came to this realization after a couple of experiences that made me grind my teeth. First, there was the time I went to see Titanic. I really did enjoy the movie. That is until the end, when poor Leo de-Fuckin-Caprio goes sliding off the damn piece of wood. I was already sobbing like a little bitch, but then again, I am sensitive (and single, ladies!). Then, these two girls in back of me burst into tears, thus ruining the movie forever.

And I quote: OH WHY :sob:: Why did they have to kill Leo? ::sobsob:: Why didn't they kill that SLUT Kate Winslet? ::sobsob NOSE BLOW sob::

I wanted to say "NOBODY CALLS KATE WINSLET A SLUT ON MY WATCH, SISTER!!!"

But I didn't; I have immense self control. You get the idea?

Next on my hate list is Gavin "I sleep with Gwen Stefani and You DON'T" Rossdale. It seems like every time I see him on TV or something, he's giving me this damn self-righteous smirk!! Well, guess what Gavy, I COULD SLEEP WITH GWEN TOO!!! (In my dreams) ALL I NEED IS GOOD HAIR AND A BETTER BODY, NOT TO MENTION A BRITISH ACCENT AND A RECORDING CONTRACT WORTH MORE THAN GOD!!!!!!!

Next on the hit parade is a little friend I like to call Matt Damon. Whatcan I say? He made Good Will Hunting, and then he ends up screwin Minnie Driver (Although, she is REALLY ugly, but its the principal of the thing!!!), Claire Danes and Winona Rider!! Well, guess what Matt? I'm gonna make a porn called GOOD WILL HUMPING!!! AND WHOEVER STARS IN THE LEAD FEMALE ROLE, IM GONNA SCREW!! GOT IT?

Finally, is a guy I know, who is actually a great friend of mine, who could be having beautiful sex with any girl in my school, but he doesn't. I guess I have to give him credit...or....a SMACK WITH A BRICK!!!! What goes through his mind???? I mean, come on! I was at a party recently and there were 3 girls clawing and scratching and fighting over who would give him a MASSAGE!! Girls throw themselves on him, but he doesn't respond. I just don't get it. But then again, I don't get much. Maybe if I did, I could be more like Leo DICK-aprio!

And so, true believers, heed this word of wisdom: Live fast, die young, and leave dirty underwear (it's biodegradable).